Friday, May 12, 2006

Halliburton has a solution for global warming

An advanced new technology will keep corporate managers safe even when climate change makes life as we know it impossible. "The SurvivaBall is designed to protect the corporate manager no matter what Mother Nature throws his or her way," said Fred Wolf, a Halliburton representative. "This technology is the only rational response to abrupt climate change."

At a recent conference, Wolf and a colleague demonstrated three SurvivaBall mockups, and described how the units will sustainably protect managers from natural or cultural disturbances of any intensity or duration. The devices - looking like huge inflatable orbs - will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a daunting defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts.

Don't believe me? Halliburton conference, more photos. Site includes Quicktime Movies with info on "gathering nutrition," "dancing for joy," and "fending off marauders."

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