Saturday, November 18, 2006


Holy crap kids, I just got back from the theatre and I gotta tell ya, I was just amazed, completely blown away. Anyone who know me knows that I love Bond movies and have seen all 20 multiple times. This is hands down the best. Live and Let Die and Her Majesty's Secret Service, previously my two favorites, pale in comparison.


Daniel Craig is the new Bond. He makes Sean Connery and Roger Moore's versions of 007 look like complete pussies. Pierce Brosnan is a dainty little girl in comparison. Craig's Bond is no gentleman. He is a coniving, sinister, incredibly strong and agile wanton killer. Gone are the dumbass John Cleese "Q" scenes, gone are the sappy Moneypenny flirtations. No, this guy has only one purpose, to fucking kill you!

Bond takes on the worst of the worst, terrorists plotting to blow up planes at airports. Yes, the world is full of terrorists who hate America and Britain. Yes, the world is full of evil men who finance terrorism. Yes, 007 hunts them down and mercilessly kills them all!! I was on the edge of my seat after the first 30 seconds of this movie, and it continued to slap me in the face for another 2 hours.

Many a power-hungry madman has tried to torture Bond before, but not like this. This is not Goldfinger's laser beam. This is a torture scene that would make the guards at Abu Ghraib and Auschwitz wince! Bond looks up at his captor and with an horribly evil laugh delivers the best Bond line ever, "I'm going to tell everyone that you died while scratching my balls."

Bond Girls: "OHHHHHH JAMES!!!"

Eva Green! The best cleavage ever on a movie screen, she kicks all the Octopussy' girls collective butts. You can't find a more beautiful and talented woman than the phenomenal Eva Green. Oh yeah, Bond gets his willy waxed. A lot!

Catherine Murino makes Ursula Andress look like a dirty, mangy old schnauzer. There's a bunch of other actors, but after seeing Murino you pretty much forget that anyone else is in this movie.

Based on the first Bond book written by Ian Fleming, the story recounts the creation of 007. Martin Campbell directs, from a screenplay by Neal Purvis & Robert Wade and Paul Haggis. James Bond's first 007 mission leads him to Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), banker to the world's terrorists. In order to stop him, and bring down the terrorist network, Bond must beat Le Chiffre in a high-stakes poker game at Casino Royale. Bond is initially annoyed when a beautiful British Treasury official, Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) is assigned to deliver his stake for the game and watch over the government's money. But, as Bond and Vesper survive a series of attacks by Le Chiffre and his henchmen, a mutual attraction develops. And develops again, and again, and again. DAMN! I was blushing!

Judi Dench is back as M. The Aston Martin is back too, complete with high-tech dashboard gizmos.

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